IN A FUNNY MOOD

By Jeanne Hambleton  © 

 

I am in a funny mood so thought I would share a laugh with you if only to make me feel better…. Of course all my stories have fibromyalgia heroines so they can fit into my stories as I tend to always write about FM. 

 

An  older lady  with fibromyalgia gets pulled over for speeding…  

Older Woman: Is  there a problem, Officer?
Officer:  Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older  Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer:  Can I see your licence please?
Older  Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  
Officer:  Don’t have one?
Older  Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.  
Officer:  I see…Can I see your vehicle registration  document please.  
Older  Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer:  Why not?
Older  Woman: I stole this car.
Officer:  Stole it?
Older  Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.  
Officer:  You what?
Older  Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the  boot if you want  to see.
The  Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and  calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A  senior  Policeman  slowly approaches the car.
Officer  2:  Could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman  steps out of her vehicle.
Older  woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer  2: One of my officers told me you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older  Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer  2: Yes, could you please open the  boot  of your car ? 
The  woman opens the  boot , revealing nothing but an empty space. 
Officer  2: Is this your car,  Madam?
Older  Woman: Yes, here is the registration  document. The  Policeman is quite  perplexed .
Officer  2: One of my men claims that you do not have a driving  licence.
The  woman digs into her handbag, pulls out  her driving licence and hands  it to the officer.
The  officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.  
Officer  2: Thank you  Madam, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a  licence, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older  Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.  

Don’t  Mess With Old Ladies. Brighten someone’s day share this on to someone you know. 

 

I said I was in a funny mood,,,,Only Great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting! This is for those who think I cannot spell…no comment

fI yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it. Cctah up tomorrow if the baordbnad is wroknig or am I tpmetnig fate? It does have a mind of its own and semotemis I wonder who is unsig who.  Jnaene Write you own funny notes…

 

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About jeanne hambleton

Journalist-wordsmith, former reporter, columnist, film critic, editor, Town Clerk and then fibromite and eventer with 5 conferences done and dusted. Interested in all health and well being issues, passionate about research to find a cure and cause for fibromyalgia. Member LinkedIn. Worked for 4 years with FMA UK as Regional Coordinator for SW and SE,and Chair for FMS SAS the Sussex and Surrey FM umbrella charity and Chair Folly Pogs Fibromyalgia Research UK - finding funding for our "cause for a cure" and President and co ordinator of National FM Conferences. Just finished last national annual Fibromyalgia Conference Weekend. This was another success with speakers from the States . Next year's conference in Chichester Park Hotel, West Sussex, will be April 24/27 2015 and bookings are coming in from those who raved about the event every year. I am very busy but happy to produce articles for publication. News Editor of FMS Global News on line but a bit behind due to conference. A workaholic beyond redemption! The future - who knows? Open to offers with payment. Versatile and looking for a regular paid column - you call the tune and I will play the pipes.
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