FibroFella is a young man I interviewed sometime ago. He was a  wanna-be top footballer in Ireland, but fibromyalgia chose him.  Like most young  men he enjoyed his sport and found it hard to watch ‘footie’ when he could  no longer play.  I am delighted he took to WordPress because he tells it as it is in his earlier archives. He could bring some hope to those men  with FM who are still ‘in the closet’  as the breadwinner worried about losing their job.

Sorry I cannot give you any advice on that but the rule of thumb, as a fibromite myself, I have found  folks with FM  need yes NEED to talk to like minded people. Join a group and find fibro friends. You will share the same pains and  inconveniences. 

This extract from Fibro Fella was written in July and you can read just how he is feeling. Hope it helps.  Jeanne


Fibrofella – tackling fibromyalgia head on

“I Think I Need A Hug”
 July 16, 2013

You know the old adage, ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’? I’ve been feeling like this over the last few weeks. The last time I wrote anything was during the 100% humidity days of methotrexate. Thankfully that is well and truly out of my system now and I’ve taken my first dose of Enbrel. I can’t cross my fingers but here’s hoping I can write a very positive update once the Enbrel begins to kick in.

In the meantime, I’m in a bit of a hole. I’m back to purely existing rather than living my life. It’s amazing how quickly it can set in but it never leaves anywhere near as fast. It all started with the methotrexate, which I was taking for arthritis, but once it failed it fed rapidly into all my fibromyalgia symptoms.

I haven’t been doing too badly with those symptoms over the last few months. Finally there was a bit of stability, so while it wasn’t getting any better it certainly wasn’t getting any worse. But then just one of my many medications didn’t kick in and suddenly all the good work was undone.

The extreme fatigue had returned and it was off to bed with me. Getting a cup from the cupboard was like bench –pressing my own body weight. It took at least thirty minutes to get to grips with the stiffness before I could get out of bed. (Behave yourself; I’m making a serious point here!)

These were the physical symptoms that got worse but the most worrying aspect for me was the psychological effects that just one medication failing brought to me. I was relatively upbeat after my arthritis diagnosis and the future that targeted relief could bring. But then a small set-back had me questioning my future as a whole.

Once the methotrexate didn’t work, a chink of light was seen in my defences and every other doubt, worry and fear I had been keeping at bay decided the time was right to attack. I love my history so I suppose it’s similar to Irish people saying that ‘England’s difficulty is Ireland’s opportunity’ in 1916. Basically while you’re distracted fighting something else we’ll join in and attack you elsewhere at the same time.

I still use medication as a support as I battle my depression. Thanks be to f*** I do because it’s been a rough few weeks. I’ve been pretty good at hiding this from some people but that isn’t a good idea either. My family, as always, have been a magnificent support. We had a lovely two-day break late last week and enjoyed swimming in the warmest Irish sea water I’ve ever felt.

However, even while I was playing in the sea or making our picnic, my mind was elsewhere, racing at 100mph and whispering in my ear ‘enjoy this for now but I have you broken and this happiness isn’t real.’ Like eating a square of chocolate, I knew the good feeling wouldn’t last and I would derive no satisfaction from the holiday once it was over.

I really enjoyed the time we spent together and know deep down it was much better for me than sitting on the couch for two days. Trouble is it is suppressed way down and the negative thoughts hold sway at the moment.

You see Depression for me is a sneaky bloke. Every so often it jumps me when I’m distracted, beats me up, steals my lunch money and leaves me to get over the internal hurt and the pain. You’ll be first to know when that happens.
PS: The title of this post is a quote from the Donkey in Shrek and does not need to be taken literally. However, if you’re a single girl feel free to take it literally and we’ll see if that can cheer me up

== * * * ==

Talking hugs, if you are feeling adventurous try this link

It might brighten your day.

About jeanne hambleton

Journalist-wordsmith, former reporter, columnist, film critic, editor, Town Clerk and then fibromite and eventer with 5 conferences done and dusted. Interested in all health and well being issues, passionate about research to find a cure and cause for fibromyalgia. Member LinkedIn. Worked for 4 years with FMA UK as Regional Coordinator for SW and SE,and Chair for FMS SAS the Sussex and Surrey FM umbrella charity and Chair Folly Pogs Fibromyalgia Research UK - finding funding for our "cause for a cure" and President and co ordinator of National FM Conferences. Just finished last national annual Fibromyalgia Conference Weekend. This was another success with speakers from the States . Next year's conference in Chichester Park Hotel, West Sussex, will be April 24/27 2015 and bookings are coming in from those who raved about the event every year. I am very busy but happy to produce articles for publication. News Editor of FMS Global News on line but a bit behind due to conference. A workaholic beyond redemption! The future - who knows? Open to offers with payment. Versatile and looking for a regular paid column - you call the tune and I will play the pipes.
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