aka Jeanne Hambleton © 2007
As I am not as young as I once was – well who is – and the spring has decidedly gone out of my step – thanks to fibromyalgia – so I spend much of my time surfing the net.
Now don’t get confused – I don’t get wet or use one of those fibre glass board type things – can you imagine me in one of those sticky rubber suits showing all my lumps and bumps – sexy for some but not me. No, I sit at my computer and play… well that is how my son describes it. The most amazing thing is my computer has brought the world to my little office.
I am now sold on the idea that anyone disabled with fibromyalgia should be given a computer and broadband connections by the government or some rich benevolent personage, to help them live with fibromyalgia. In fact everyone who is disabled and housebound should be afforded the same priviledge. Now who shall we write to about that?
But seriously, not only could they learn about what ails them and avoid visiting the doctors to be told they know not what we have got, but there is the opportunity to join forums, make friends and more to the point – have a smile or two.
How it began I do not remember, but for some unknown reason I seem to have become someone responsible for circulating silly emails, wonderful picture of cats and dogs doing silly things, outrageous pictures, brain puzzles and some really funny stories which make you laugh out loud and feel better. Some of my friends call me Lady Laugh-a-Lot, among other names too rude to mention.
But recently one email dropped onto my desktop which I really wanted to share with the world (after I had deleted what I thought were the libellous statements).
All I can say is no copyright infringement or offence is intended as I have no idea of the original of this information but I hope it will bring a smile to your face and lol (lot of laughs).
Watch out here comes the commercial….go make the tea or something…..
Remember laughter is the BEST medicine – I have proof – but you will have to buy the book, Pain 24/7 – The Fibromyalgia Jigsaw ©, when it is printed, to learn more about that. If you are interested in getting hold of a copy as soon as the presses are running, or want to be part of the book, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Something to make you smile! If it doesn’t you’re just a miserable person!!
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year……..
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the glue
on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope
that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
in their special e-mail program …..or from the senior bank clerk in
Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a
long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink a certain fizzy drink because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so
a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore
Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it
bites my posteria.
And thanks to your great advice, I can’t even pick up the £5.00 I found
dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this
afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest you causing you
to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to
a friend of my next door neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s
Have a wonderful day!
By the way….a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late…….
Let me say this is just the beginning of a wonderful friendship. I have more goodies I would like to share with you. Keep watching.
Talk soon. Jeanne